Epcot the clean cut cousin vs Animal Kingdom the bearded bae

Alright… y’all ready?

I write this with GREAT trepidation… I LOVE ANIMAL KINGDOM!!

Like, more than any place I’ve ever been! If it were socially acceptable, I would close my business, move to Orlando, and start a relationship with it.

Here I was, trying to avoid it like a bill collector with the plague! I thought it was an overpriced, glorified zoo. NOOOOO! It’s anything but!

It has Rides, baby! Good FOOD! Culture! and Arboriculture!

Put your stones down and hear me out—Epcot and AK are just different. You can’t compare the two. It’s like comparing steak and apples, vastly different leagues.

Epcot is chill, flat, laid-back, clean, beautiful, and a bit upscale—you can smell the money there.

AK was gritty, full, rugged… kinda like a filthy tall trucker (cute) with a beard and tattoos. You love it! Not sure why, but you want it to ruin your LIFE! But he’s not ready for commitment 😩

Epcot is the rich entrepreneur with a Tesla, a condo in the city, and a clean shave. You want them both because both are fabulous in their own way… but secretly, you wanna get DIRTY 😂

From the hilly walkways to the trees shading you from the relentless Florida sun, to the waterfalls, the wind, and animal sounds piped through every speaker—to the cast members from their respective continents—this place has it all.

I felt like I had hired a Sherpa to climb Everest while walking in Asia. Every prop, sleeping bag, sound, and building was Nepal! The props came from the ACTUAL Mt. Everest!

How DOPE is that?!

Expedition Everest was amazing—a backwards (at times) coaster in a mountain, with speed in the dark… COME ON!! Y’all know they DID that!

Then on to Flight of Passage… sigh.

The 135-minute wait was NOT of the Lord, but worth the low back pain and sore foot pads. This image to Avatar was mind blowing. The walk to get there was paved with mystical trees, light up walk ways and far away sounds.

If you like Soarin’, you’ll LOVE Flight of Passage. Just do it. Same smells, higher wind, and virtual reality—but add a vibrating crotch rocket, a light mist of water, and 3D glasses at full speed.

Just. DO. IT.

BLOWN 👏🏾 A 👏🏾 WAY!

Flight of Passage was the best ride—hands DOWN.

Na’vi River Journey was vibrant and cool—think It’s a Small World but a much cooler Avatar-style.

The Kilimanjaro Safari was better than expected. The trucks were authentic Safari trucks complete with sleeping bags attached to the roof. The animals were all out—not in cages but not “reach out and touch” either. It was a great way to get off our feet, it also didn’t feel pitiful or zoo-like.

Now, my heart was in Africa—not just because of my melanin, but because it FELT like Africa.

From the tin roofs, to the music, the food, the performers—even the dirty garbage cans. EVERY little detail screamed Africa. The trees, the grounds, the cast members, the chairs were all native African.

I’m a fool for ambiance, so for me, this was quite impressive.

I had a pork sausage on naan bread topped with curry coleslaw, with watermelon lemonade.

That lemonade made me rethink my ENTIRE LIFE.

WHERE 👏🏾 HAVE 👏🏾 I 👏🏾 BEEN?!

I savored every SWEET drop! It was coffee-cup small, but after that first glorious, sweet refreshing sip, I forgot it was $3.99.

While passing through, the smell of cinnamon grabbed me by the neck and pulled me to the counter.

Hot cinnamon roasted almonds are my new JAM! So I had to grab a cone to complete the meal.

I stayed in this park longer than any of them. Animal Kingdom and Epcot are my favs.

I don’t have small children, so my tolerance for double strollers, balloons, screaming kids, and bubbles is about thiissss 👌🏽 thin.

Epcot and AK didn’t have much of that at all. I also prefer a more mature crowd.

I did enjoy the nostalgia of Magic Kingdom’s Main Street—the charm of the shops and the excellence of the entire thing as a whole but don’t have to do it again.

Would I do the parks again? Of course.

What I would do differently is:

Go during a cooler month Add another few days, Do one day on and one day off Allow two days for Animal Kingdom and one for Epcot and I would Pack light.

The only things I actually needed: my phone, cash, hand wipes, and lip balm.

I understand we all have different needs, but for me—I just wanna be in the moment for a change.

Just think! I was about to avoid Animal Kingdom all together..

but she was the bell of the ball.