Some folk will NEVER see you.. and that’s ok.

I’m sharing this because I think MANY of us struggle in this area — believing that everyone is our friend, or even that everyone likes us like we like them.

I met a woman I decided to help. I encouraged her when she was down, related to her struggles, gave free services, invited her to functions (and paid, too), etc. I would basically set myself on fire to keep her warm. I did this because I saw myself in her but I wanted her to have a better chance at life than me — she’s a few years younger than me and had the same childhood trauma I did. 

I used to look forward to talking with her because we were both Christian women & entrepreneurs. I quickly noticed I was always giving, and she was always receiving — but that was okay, because those were the majority of the connections I had at the time.

One winter day, she asked if I was busy at the salon. I said not really, because I wasn’t that was the truth. She said, “Maybe you should get a part-time job. That would make some extra money and kill some time.” Those were great points, so I thought about it, went home, and applied.

I put my purpose down and got a part-time job loading groceries into cars. I was now working seven days a week, so worn out that I couldn’t do anything but sleep between shifts. That was NOT God’s best. It was painful toil. My first check for 7hrs of work was $136, I made that in less than two hours at the salon.

While I was still in training, there was a GM in training as well who happened to be in the area. She walked straight over to me and casually said, “Ma’am, you don’t belong back here.”

I frowned and said, “What do you mean?”

She laughed and walked away, then came back and said, “I was joking with you — but seriously, you look out of place back here.”

I KNEW she was right. Her casual words convicted me and pricked my heart. I wasn’t trusting God for my provision — I had gone about trying to “supply my own needs.”

I quit the very next day.

Later, when I saw the girl again, she excitedly asked, “How’s the part-time job going?”

I said, “I quit. God didn’t send me there — and He confirmed it.”

She frowned and said, “Are you sure that was God?”

I felt heat crawl up my neck because for a microsecond I saw her mask slip. 

This woman had been around me many times but didn’t recognize what the GM in training had recognized in me immediately.

MESSAGE: Some folk will never see you!

David’s brothers had no idea he was king.

Joseph’s brothers stood right in front of him and didn’t know him.

The Son of God walked the earth, and folk said, “Ain’t that Mary and Joe’s son? Didn’t He make us a table last week?”

Don’t be offended.

Their lack of sight doesn’t change who you are.

This chick was more comfortable with the idea of me loading cars than with my blog doing well or me being a successful entrepreneur and influencer. 

I knew right then she would NEVER see me as more than a service provider. I’ve been a service provider for 20 years — there’s no shame in it. It was part of my journey, but it’s not my final destination.

Paul built tents but wrote a third of the New Testament.

David was a shepherd once and a king last.

Jesus was a carpenter but was ultimately the SON OF THE LIVING GOD! 🔥

Who are you moonlighting as?

Anyway, I thought about it all. I remembered when she referred to my retreats as “little” and laughed them off suggesting I attend an already established one. When she told me not to start a podcast — and then started one herself and has had everyone on as a guest from the gas station attendant to her bff’s (not me of course). When she said blogging was dead and that I should just focus on nails. The many small seeds sown to stop me.

This is a Christian woman. A church girl… y’all know the type — a “churchian” by habit but lacking real power and relationship. They know the flowery scriptures, love a good pink highlighter, but dare not eat any meat! Going to church doesn’t forge relationship! A monkey can sit in a building for a few hours a week. God wants your heart, not your habit.

I’ve met many of these women, and they’re all the same: painted-on smiles that never reach their eyes but are hurt and broken behind closed doors because real deliverance is too messy. They want a sprinkle of Jesus but not to get too wet. Getting too wet would cause them to be different and un-relatable.

I’m not the kind of woman she would be friends with, because my reality doesn’t fit the Stepford mold. I’m not quiet, gingerly or flowery.

Unfortunately, there are many people like this. I’m sure you can think of someone right now — someone who thinks your elevation means someone else has to be demoted.

That’s a lack mindset.

There’s enough for everyone.

I’m actually lowkey thankful for this woman, because now I know what it looks like.

The closer I get to 50, the less I feel the need to lie to myself about any relationship. I accept you for who you are and I place you according to the same standard.

I don’t have to be liked — but I refuse to be mistreated.

This season of my life is different.

The fire is different.