No Fireworks

July 4, 2024 made 2 years that I’ve been emancipated from my last long term dead end relationship. A video of fireworks came up in my memories and I remembered that day and smiled. This was roughly 2hrs after I completed severed the tie. The ending wasn’t any fireworks, I simply asked him why he blocked me on Facebook and he ignored the question. That was it. That was the straw. I said my piece calmly and waited for him to leave. He did not, deep down I knew that he knew that if he left that would be it as well. 

After 2hrs of sitting quietly he said we should go see some fireworks. I said sure. I said sure because I knew it would be the last time I saw him and that I wanted to close the door on good terms and end the night well. We drove to a dead end street and parked with the other cars watching the festivities on the lake nearby. I walked to the back of the car and watched while he stood at the front texting. 

I remember being relieved it was over. Everything in me loosened up and I was smiling. I remember knowing he wouldn’t give me any closure because he wanted the door to stay open. I also remember being excited to be free. I was EXCITED to finally live on my own terms. I was excited at the possibility of new authentic love one day. I knew what I didn’t want and what I did but I also knew I needed to start the long journey of healing and dealing. 

So I took two plus years to repair the part of me that tolerated such mistreatment. He was wrong but had I listened to God in the first place I wouldn’t have been with him. So I accepted my part and forgave me. I forgive him as well. He couldn’t see who I was because God has always hidden me from men who were not for me. He did what he was sent to do, it’s cool.. I bent but I didn’t break and now I’m stronger. That was my emancipation proclamation to everyone reading. 

I’m free. 

I’m thriving. 

I’m happy. 

I’m healed and I’m whole again.